Looking back…. I complained on the regular about not having enough ‘me time’. As if having a full-time job with a lengthy travel time each day wasn’t enough, I added in the small (ha) task of completing a Psychology degree in the mix. All of this along with a new house move (my very first house move… with a boy agghh) didn’t come easy to me, in fact I found juggling all of this very stressful and overwhelming. It wasn’t this amazing, exciting journey everybody kept telling me about. “How exciting that you have your own house” my colleagues would say during a very quick pre-packed calorific sandwich break. Every night negative thoughts would consume my brain “I can’t possibly juggle all of this workload and decorate a new house… it’s impossible”. Although I surprised myself and did just that!! So, there I was working every day, travelling for 3 hours a day and coming home to an empty house to cook tea (whilst my partner worked away), study, the weekend came and I studied some more. I was mentally exhausted and my anxiety levels rose through the roof, in fact it was a very frightening time for me. The guilt took over and ate away at me like a nasty virus I couldn’t shake, the fact I never had time to spend with my family and friends made me worry they would walk away (one particular ‘so called’ friend did). Then it hit me, I never spent any time doing anything I as an individual enjoyed, I felt I always had to do something with others in order to feel happy and complete (How wrong was I).
It was around this time a new gym opened not far from where I live, I thought I would try it out with a couple of family members to try and lose the weight I had gained from my regular quick ‘ping’ meals after work. When I first joined I felt completely uncomfortable and in all honesty slightly on the chubby side compared to some of the so called gym posers parading their tight abs in little crop tops (extremely jealous). I did what I thought I should do, the regular cross trainer workouts and anything that didn’t make me too sweaty…. I wouldn’t want to ruin my hair and make-up that I had consciously made an effort to do. Going to the gym started to become a real chore to me with the little time I had and I was seeing no results to my dismay. It was only when I was forced to start going alone ‘very scary’ I was pushed outside my comfort zone and started to flourish as a person, both mentally and physically. I walked into my first gym class on my own which was intimidating, but then I realised many people where in the exact same position, why should I have to be with somebody else in order to get fit and enjoy a workout. I walked out and felt amazing and I have never looked back since, now I will try any new class and anybody who knows me personally will know it’s a huge part of my lifestyle now. The anxious thoughts slowly started to drift and my mind felt clear (as it could be) and rather than sit and wallow in my negative thoughts I used exercise as a way to escape all the stresses in my life and I still do. Exercise gives you more energy which leads to better productivity in the day, try it and you will never look back!